Currently Listening All The Stars And Boulevards By Augustana see related

How do people end dates when they're not interested in the date and hope that they will never see them again?  This is not a problem that I am having personally, but just an issue that I think would be good to address for the future.  (The probability that I will go on a bad date in the near and/or distant future is promising and I'd like to be prepared) 

Many people use the, "well, that was great, we should do it again some time!" or they even go on to include the cursed, "I'll give you a call!" even though they have no intention of doing so.  (by the way, I think this was the subject of a Friends episode once)  This poses a problem.  Don't get me wrong, I understand why people do it: you don't want to be rude to the person's face, you'd prefer being rude when they can't see you.  Maybe the person will think that you're busy and haven't called because of work or "didn't he say he had family in town this wknd?"  Maybe after a while, the person will forget about you altogether!  (not likely to happen, but worth a shot)  Here are two possible approaches:

1. A friend of mine (a guy) uses the "pregnant pause + held stare" approach at the end of his dates.  Example: you're in the car, you've had a ridiculously long dinner with a girl and you're parked in front of her house to drop her off.  it's cold out.  the windows are starting to fog up just by the two of you sitting there breathing which is pretty embarrassing in and of itself.  you're sitting there wondering why the freak won't she get out already??  she tells you what a great time she had...then looks over at you expectantly.  what do you do?  you say, "I enjoyed dinner as well." (note that you are not lying.  you probably did enjoy the meal)  THEN, you hold it...you pause.  throughout this time, you are looking directly into her eyes. not in a suggestive or flirty way.  but in a matter-of-fact way.  (you can practice in front of a mirror--you'll see the difference between borderline suggestive glaring and looking indifferent/matter-of-fact)  the key, though is to continue with the stare down DURING the pregnant pause.  I'm not sure how well this works for people, but my friend swears by it.  (by the way, this method is not exclusive to guys--girls can use it too)
2. Another possible approach is the "pretend like this wasn't really a date" method.  If you're able to figure out early on, that your date just isn't for you, you can "plant little seeds" throughout the date and mention that your date has similar traits or similar likings as one of your single friends.  EXAMPLE: when he/she mentions how curling was his/her favorite winter olympic sport to watch (although, i have to admit, after a while, it kind of grew on me), casually mention that your friend tivo'd all 240 hours of it and is having a curling marathon viewing at his place next week and wouldn't he/she like to come?  Then by the end of the date, once the seeds have been planted (and your date has some clue that you have less than romantic intentions), tell him/her what a great time you've had and how it's been so great to get to know him/her because you have the perfect guy/girl for him/her!  This way, you're not hurting your date because it was more like a misunderstanding.  Your date thought maybe it was a date, but in actuality, it was not--it was more like an information session.  honest mistake.  The key here, is the planting of the seeds during the date itself.  by planting seeds, you start to make your date believe that this is an information session, not a date.  before you know it, by the end of the date, YOUR date will be thinking, "well that was a nice way to get to know a person, i hope he/she has cute friends!"  mission accomplished. 

Personally, I like the "pretend like it wasn't a date" approach better than the "pregnant pause + held stare." seems less embarrassing and uncomfortable. less invasive...

I felt like something was a bit unusual when I walked out of my apt building yesterday morning...5th and madison avenue didn't have any cars on it...*shrug* must be a slow day.  I thought it was odd how all the subway entrances had tape across them and the entrances appeared locked.  *shrug* guess all those entrances were closed.  maybe they're doing construction work.  but THEN...i saw first-hand that hell had, indeed, frozen over.  the starbucks was closed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    i did a double-take.  shook my head a couple times.  blinked.    i even rubbed my eyes with the back of my gloved hand!    you KNOW there must be some major crisis/catastrophe when starbucks closes.  So wait, is something going on?  i overheard someone say you could get shot for not having 4 people in a car...is that because the passengers aren't drinking starbucks coffee?  that hardly seems fair... 

amazing...

http://www.cpwang.com/DukeVT.wmv

Currently Listening Happenstance By Rachael Yamagata see related

so just as an update, we finally picked an apt and are moving in a week.  thanks to all who listened to my b*tching and moaning for the past mth or so.  our new apt is above what we intended to spend on rent and is significantly smaller than our current apt, but the real bonus is that my bedroom has a magnificent view...of the office building across the street.  actually it's not really across the street b/c that would imply that it is a good distance away, when in fact i could actually touch the building with a golf club if i stuck my arm out the window far enough.  i'd like to write that i'm "just kidding" but i really can't.  you seriously could stick a club out my bedroom window and "reach out and touch" some random office manager who's typing away at his computer.  but hey, the location is great and i'm just glad we're done w/the hunt.  

anyways aside from all the packing i did (i cleaned out a kitchen drawer that had old take-out menus in them), wknd was good.  managed to hang out w/old dartmouth friends i haven't seen since graduation and some bls friends too.  it's amazing how much more i look fwd to wknds now that i've started working...perhaps because when i was in school i treated every day like a wknd???  :) 

i haven't posted in a while but thought i might take this opportunity to express my sincere love and respect for all things related to apartment hunting.  for the past few weeks i have been searching for an apartment and can i just say that every moment spent with an eager broker or following a misleading ad off of craigs list has been precious to me.   i'll try to rank my experiences in order but please bear in mind, it will be tough since they were all just so amazing...   

1. the time i found a listing off of craigs list for a "no fee, real 2 bedroom" and trudged out in the rain during my lunch to find a man standing on the side of the street holding a clip board that said "Manhattan Brokers Realty, Inc."  incidentally, he made me fill out and sign (while it began to pour) a two-page form to ensure that he was paid the full 15% broker's fee on the no fee apartment.  i especially loved it when, as it turned out, the apartment (a 1 br convert) had already been rented out 3 weeks ago but the kind, thoughtful broker suggested that we "see it anyways" on the off-chance that "who knows *shrug* maybe another apartment could open up" in that building some time. 
2. the time the broker told me that we were going to see a "true 2 bedroom" which turned out to be a 1 bedroom with no possibility of a conversion as the building did not allow walls to go up. 
3. the time the broker showed us a 2-3 bedroom where the "3rd bedroom" turned out to be a coffin...sorry, sliding cabinet which started at chest-level and was about 1 foot in height: "you could stick a mattress in there and a step ladder by the sliding door and someone could just jump in there and still have privacy."
4. the time a broker and i were walking thru murray hill on a gloriously muggy/humid day and she directed me from a place on 31st and 1st avenue to a place on 27th and madison, then back to 30th and 2nd, then over to 28th and lexington.  the broker had made no appointments for any of the apartments that day but, you know, we really did get a good feel for the neighborhood that way.  when i commented that it might make more sense to go in geographical order since we did not have to be in a particular place at a particular time, she exclaimed, "you are totally right!  that is so smart!"
5. the time the broker and i waited for twenty minutes for the 6 train to come (on the weekend) to take us to the next apartment he wanted to show me while mentioning that "i usually take clients in a cab but since it's so nice out, i figure we'll take the subway."  meanwhile beads of sweat were pouring down his cheek and down his neck... 

if i ever do find a place (and boy does it look promising), i will miss these precious moments...